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Jealousy is a terrible thing. I learned about it firsthand,
recently. I entered another juried Show, which is nothing unusual. I did get two
quilts into the show, which is a prize in and of itself in a juried show; but I
didn’t win; didn't even get an Honorable Mention, and I felt the vague stirrings
of that awful, demeaning, horrible, feelings of jealousy for those that DID win.
Don't fool yourself - if you entered, you felt it, too. It's even worse when someone
in YOUR guild DOES win the Best of Show, and you don't even place. Especially if
she also wins another ribbon in the Show, as well. And $1,000. And a brand new
sewing machine.
I have no desire whatsoever to make the kind of quilt that
won that particular Best of Show. I don't even want a quilt like that; I'm
constitutionally incapable of making one, and I know it. I'm terribly proud that
we have in our Guild a person who can win an international quilt contest. I just
wish it had been me. And so do you - not because I think I deserve it, or because
I wish I had her skill or dedication, or even because I need the free sewing machine
and prize money.
I want to win a major quilt competition because, if you
had listened to those people who surrounded the maker of that quilt at the Show,
she is a GODDESS in their eyes; not just your ordinary, everyday, goddess, either,
but one who KNOWS about QUILTS, and probably walks on water, too. Besides, if I
do win a major contest someday, somewhere, somehow, it will validate all the money
I've spent, all the time I've snatched from who knows where, all the dust bunnies
I've ignored, all the dinners brought home from pizza places and fast food joints,
all the scraps I've tracked across the floor, all the -- but you know, you've done
it, too, and your house probably looks a lot like mine.
I'm pretty sure this is not the attitude a person should
have, however. I think a person has to concentrate, instead, about whether or
not making the quilts they made gave them joy, not whether or not it won a ribbon
or brought home prize money. I make quilts because I must. If I don't make
what's in my head, it haunts me. I get terribly crabby and start nagging my
kids and my husband, I start nibbling potato chips and gaining weight. So, if
I make a quilt and it wins a prize, that's great, but I didn't make it for the
contest in the first place. I made it for ME, or for someone else in my life,
or for someone I want to keep warm, someone I love, and the contest was secondary,
an afterthought, the icing on the cake.
Frankly, I think that everyone who takes the trouble to
enter a juried show should get a prize, since it's a royal pain to enter a contest.
You have to make the quilt - especially if you are making a quilt to go along with
the stated theme - which causes untold havoc with your budget and your familial
relations. Then you have to get a decent slide of it - full view and close-up,
which is NOT as easy as it sounds.
Think about it. You can either find someone to take a
professional slide of your quilt, or go through amazing gyrations to do it yourself.
If you can find someone else to do it, you still have to get the quilt "camera-ready",
get it to them, get it back, and then pay the bill (about $75 or so for each quilt
photographed). If you do it yourself, you either have to rig up some kind of hanging
system or drive around to pick up the Guild's portable quilt frame from whoever
is keeping it that month, and hope the frame doesn't crack your windshield on the
way home (my husband has done this). Then you pray for an overcast day so you
can take the picture outside and find a piece of white or neutral colored fabric
to somehow secure to your garage door to be behind your quilt. Then you hope
you really did get the right film, take the pictures in between the gusts of wind
and flashes of bright sunlight, and wonder what in the world you are going to do
with the other 24 pictures on the roll of film you had to buy, since that is the
smallest roll the drugstore had that day. Then you wait for a week for the
slides to come back, and if they don't turn out right, you do it all over again.
And even then, you're not done. You still have to send an
SASE for the contest rules (as soon as you figure out what an SASE is). Then you
have to cut swatches from the fabrics you used on the front (and back) of the quilt,
plus write a 50 word or less description of the thing. THEN you have to find
2 envelopes (one to send the entry in, one SASE for them to send you your
acceptance/reject letter in) find 2 stamps, write a check for the non-refundable
entry fee, mail the thing, and WAIT. Yes, wait, because THEY will let you know
whether or not the work of your hands is worthy for entry into their show. And
when, hallelujah, you get it back and it says you get to enter the Show, you're
still not done.
Oh, no. NOW you have to make sure your quilt is absolutely
as perfect as you can make it. Then you have to make sure you have a sleeve
and your own cloth label on the back, as well as THEIR paper label, and then figure
out when to send it. That alone can take a day or two to figure out. And when
you have finally paid to get the quilt mailed to the show, by then you have
decided you have to go to the show to see whether or not you got a prize; and
since you're going anyway, you might as well take a class or two. And if you
take a class or two, you have to pay for them and round up all of the supplies,
and - need I go on?
I think all of the daring, adventurous people who enter
quilt shows should get to enter free, and they should all get ribbons and prizes,
just for surmounting such incredible obstacles. I think every person who enters
a quilt show should get a ribbon, and the ribbon should say:
CONGRATULATIONS! This ribbon is awarded to YOU,
"Quilter Extradordinaire", for perseverance and bravado above and beyond the
call of reason. Thank you for sharing your flame!
ANYWAY, whether I get prizes on them or not, the
quilts I make give me joy, both in their making and their display. I am
very grateful that others appreciate what I do for what it is - an expression
of self, an attempt to add a bit of color to a sometimes drab and dreary world,
and something that keeps me off the streets, out of the bars, and off the
psychiatrist's couch.
I just wish I could be the Quilting Queen....just for once!
©2003 Linda Schmidt
E-mail shortattn@attbi.com
Web Site http://shortattn.home.attbi.com
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